You may be unknowingly doing things to push him away… BY ACCIDENT.
Men who leave their women complain about a few common things. To his buddies, he might say:
“She nags me too much.”
“She’s crazy.”
“She’s too jealous”
“She’s too controlling.”
“She doesn’t allow me to be free.”
“She tells me what to do too much.”
All of these phrases raise re
d flags. When I hear this kind of talk, I start to suspect that he might have secret thoughts in his mind that even HE is unaware of.
But all the same, those thoughts are destroying your relationship. Often, when men use these key phrases, I begin to suspect that they might have been victim to something I like to call, “Psychological Castration.”
Whether he knows it or not, every man is a warrior in his own mind. Part of being a strong man includes having a mission in life that comes before everything else…
…this includes you..
A man needs to feel like he is on a mission and he is winning his own conquest. More than money, or superficial “things” or a hot trophy girlfriend – a man’s pursuit of his own mission generates his deepest sense of masculinity.
A man is “Psychologically Castrated” when his woman blocks him from his life’s mission in some way.
Sometimes women do this by accident, sometimes it happens because your needs are in direct conflict with his needs. And hey – it’s ok if your needs are different from his. There’s nothing wrong with that, or you.
But a man needs to feel like his woman supports his mission, otherwise he will either start to feel psychologically castrated – or he will leave.
How “Psychological Castration” Happens
Even though you’re only one person, you play many roles with your boyfriend. You are his lover, his teammate, perhaps best friend, sometimes daughter, and often – too often – you’re like his mother.
Playing different roles with your partner is a good thing – for the most part. After all, you may enjoy your boyfriend, in the roles of brother, father, lover, caveman(?), from time to time.
Guys who are “Psycologically Castrated”, feel like they are controlled too much.
Some men really enjoy that kind of female energy in their lives. Some even crave it. But this cannot be the basis of your relationship, because the longer you stay in “mother mode”, the longer he must stay in “boy mode.” As awesome as it may sound to feel pampered and spoiled by mommy, men don’t like this role for too long.
Analogy
Some times a warrior comes back from battle. He’s wounded and scarred. Your female nurturing energy is exactly what he needs to get nursed back to health. After he recovers, he basks in your warmth. You have passionate sex, like it may be his last. He plays with you, and the family.
Not long after, he hears the call, and he must return to battle. He doesn’t want to leave you, but his mission calls – he has to go.
There is the psychologically castrated warrior comes back from battle. He’s wounded and scarred. You nurse him back to health. After he recovers, he basks in your warmth. You have great sex, and all great times ensue.
…but when he hears the call, you demand that he stays – and he beats himself up for being a coward. Eventually, sex with you is not so fun, and he feels impotent in all areas of life.
…or, when he hears the call, you demand that he stays – but he goes anyway. While in the trenches of warfare, he gets your letters, but your letters are filled with nagging contempt. This distresses him, and he gets killed in battle.
It’s very important as a girlfriend to know your man’s mission, and to support it.
Here are some action steps to follow:
- Allow him to stay fully engaged in his mission until he is ready for you.
- Be supportive – even if he is not super successful yet. Inspire his confidence by having faith.
- Enjoy your own femininity while he is away. Go shopping – or whatever you like to do to nurture yourself.
- When he is done handling his mission for the day, be fully present with him. Give your full attention to him and your relationship.
- If you have issues you need to discuss he will be much more receptive AFTER he has gotten to be full present with you.
Hope you enjoyed this post. Do leave a comment and let’s hear what you thought below!
